Rock Bottom Girl

It's been a few days between reviews, I know that's weird for me. Life was happening, and reading time was limited. But I'm back! This was a new to me author, I just randomly found the book on Facebook. 

"You may be faking the relationships, but you're not faking the orgasms." Downsized, broke, and dumped, 38- year- old Marley sneaks home to her childhood bedroom in a town she couldn't wait to escape 20 years ago. Not much has changed in Culpepper. The cool kids are still cool. Now they just own car dealerships and live in McMansions next door. Oh, and the whole town is still talking about that Homecoming she ruined her senior year. Desperate for a new start, Marley accepts a temporary teaching position. Can the girl banned from all future Culpepper High Homecomings keep the losing-est girls soccer team in school history from killing each other and prevent carpal tunnel in a phone-clutching gym class students? Maybe with the help of Jake Weston, high school bad boy turned sexy good guy. When the school rumor sends Marley to the principal's office to sign an ethics contract, the tattooed track coach, dog dad, and teacher of the year becomes her new fake boyfriend and alibi- for a price. The deal: He'll teach her how to coach if she teaches him how to be in a relationship. Who knew a fake boyfriend could deliver such real orgasms? But it's all temporary. The guy. The job. The team. There's too much history. Rock bottom can't turn into a foundation for happily ever after. Can it? Warning: Story also includes a meet-puke, a bouffanted nemesis, a yard swan and donkey basketball, a teenage-orchestrated makeover, and a fake relationship that gets a little too real between the sheets."

This book was laugh out loud funny. There were several parts where I would laugh and then look around to make sure no one was looking at me funny. Marley loses her job and gets dumped so she moves back home. Her hilarious parents right away find her a job at the high school she went to, and much to her dismay, already accept the position for her before even running it by her. She is thrown right back into the one place she has been running from all these years. She feels underqualified, like a failure, and completely inferior to those around her. Her self esteem is pretty low, and she definitely feels like she has hit rock bottom. 

I loved Marley. She was lost. She was almost 40 and had no idea what she wanted to do with her life. There were times that she was so insecure it was almost infuriating, but the times that she let loose and wasn't thinking too much she really shined. She tended to overthink everything, and always felt like she wasn't measuring up to what people expected her to be, but no one thought these things but her. It takes her so long to figure out what she wants in life, and she is so stubborn it gets a little irritating, but she does finally get herself together, I promise! 

"How can I put this so you'll understand? It's like if Hostess Snack Cakes came out with a fat-free, calorie-free Twinkie that was good for you. But only one person in the world could have them." "I'd annihilate the competition," I breathed, staring off into the distance, imaging such a beautiful thing. "Jake Weston is the fat-free, calorie-free Twinkie. And only one woman can have him." 

I loved loved Jake Weston. Wow. He was amazing. Everything a woman could want in a man, aside from the messiness. He was so over the moon with Marley, and it was completely obvious to everyone, BUT Marley. I swear in most of this book she was so dense. He wanted her in high school, and he desperately wanted her now. He was the ultimate bachelor, but you could tell that he was just looking for the right girl to settle down with.

"I did the only thing I could do. I tumbled off my bachelor pedestal face-first, hitting every step on the way down. This was going to be a freaking disaster."

I could understand why Marley was so hesitant to find happiness in her small town. I'm from a small town, and I also left and found my way back. It's hard to leave a place where everyone knows everyone, and then have to come back with your tail between your legs. I get that she was disappointed in herself, but it was also so aggravating that she found it so hard to believe that she could find a place back home. It felt like she carried this grudge against the whole town based upon what happened to her in high school.

"I. Can't. Breathe." she squeaked out, wiping away the tears. "I fell off a donkey." She covered her mouth with her hand, brown eyes twinkling, and I realized I'd never seen anyone more beautiful in my entire life. I was going to marry this woman. And I was going to mention this exact moment in our vows."

I think the best part of this book was that it was focused around the romance. Sure, it was there, and you knew it, but that wasn't what I got from the book. I think this book was about Marley finding herself, and falling in love with herself. She had to forgive herself for failing, before she could find happiness anywhere else. I appreciate a story that isn't romance based, has some comedy, and also has this A HA moment for the heroine. Sometimes a girl just needs to learn to love herself before she loves anyone else. 

"Why in the hell should I make this easier on you when you aren't doing a damn thing to soften the blow for me? I'm in love with you, jackass!"

Overall, I'm giving this one 4 STARS. This was a good, light, funny read. I loved all the characters, and I especially loved all the shenanigans they found themselves in. When you get to the scene with Jake wakes up in Marley's dads bicycle shorts I hope you laugh as hard as I did. This was a great find! I will definitely seek out some more books from this author!