The Wrong Blaze

I am irrationally angry at this book. I don't remember a time I was this frustrated reading a book, and not because it was bad, because it was PLAYING WITH MY DAMN EMOTIONS. I love Meagan Brandy books. She always writes these bad ass, strong, independent, leading ladies so I always look forward to reading another one of her books. 

"Oakley, sometimes, the ones we think we care the least care the most. Remember that, even when it feels impossible. When it hurts more than you feel you can bear, remember that. The people who love you can do the most damage, but sometimes...they hurt for you. And not everything is what it appears to be."

"Hate. Love. Lies. Nothing is ever as it seems..As head of Blackline Academy, I spent my days training with the elite, getting them ready for the one thing each hopes to gain in the end, the chance to call themselves a Blaze. I had it all figured out, knew exactly who was what I wanted in life, then he came back, determined more than ever to prove me wrong. He's forced his way into my world, demanded my attention no matter the cost. He pushed until I fell. And then he knocked me down. But nothing is ever as it seems. Hate is where it started. Love is where it was headed. Lies are what destroyed everything. Now I'm left to wonder...did I fall for the wrong Blaze?"

Okay, let me just start by saying that I was incredibly frustrated the ENTIRE book. I was invested. This story is about two brothers, and their whole world, Oakley. Alec saw her first. He approached her first, when they were small children. Rowan stole her right from under his nose, and she fell for Rowan. Alec was desperately in love with Oakley, and he felt that she would fall in love with him if she just gave him a chance. Oakley was desperately in love with Rowan, and Rowan strung her along their whole lives. He never let her get close enough for a relationship, but he never let her slip far enough away that Alec could try. 

"Love, Oaks. Love. When you love someone, you feel invincible. Your strength because theirs, and you feed off each other until, eventually, you are unstoppable." I hear his deep inhale. "Be unstoppable, Oakley." 

I did not care for Oakley for the first few chapters. I thought oh my gosh, Meagan didn't write this strong, fierce, female that she usually does. I thought Oakley was too dependent on Rowan, and I thought she was incredibly naive. And, I think at first she was all of these things, but she redeemed herself. She was so head over heels in love with Rowan, and it drove me crazy. It was clear to me that he was playing some kind of a game with her, that everyone around her seemed to be aware of, but she was completely oblivious. I just wanted to reach into the book and shake her. She talked about how Alec was so mean to her when they were kids, but I didn't see it that way. He was always the first one there to save her and help her, and then Rowan would show up and take all the credit, so naturally Alec would be angry, and it came across as mean. Halfway through the book, even though I was super pissed at it, I could see the growth happening in Oakley. She finally took charge of her own life, and finally started telling people how she felt. That's when I realized Meagan did write that fantastic lead woman, it just took her some time to realize who she was. 

"I don't want you after dark." His eyes flit between mine. "I want you around the fucking clock. No exceptions."

"He's rough edges with a smooth interior, dark days with bright nights. He's the wrong kind of right."

Alec was intense. I absolutely loved him from the start. I felt like aside from Oakley's dad no one really gave him a chance. No one allowed him to express his feelings, and no one really understood him. He fiercely loved Oakley. As you read you will find out that he gave his life completely up for her. He spent half of his life doing everything he could to protect her. And after the light was shed on everything going on I gained a whole new respect for him. He was truly selfless. 

I did NOT like Rowan. I didn't like him at all. I didn't like him when the book started, in the middle of the book, or even at the end. I know towards the end the author was shedding this whole new light on him, made him a hero, and tried to make up for the shady things he did, but I just couldn't. I was so angry with him. So angry that he just strung Oakley along her whole life. She was supposed to be his best friend and he was never completely honest with her. He gave her this false hope that something would eventually happen between them, and it just made me furious. He knew Alec loved her, he knew Alec would be a good man for her, but he didn't want to share, and it pissed me off. 

"His lips never touch me, his hands never mark me, and his heart sure as hell isn't mine."

50% into this book I put it down. I was absolutely furious. I was thinking what in the hell is going on in this book, I hate it, I hate all these people. I was livid. I stopped reading for like 4 hours, because I was just flabbergasted. When you get to this point you will see what I mean, a huge bomb gets dropped, and it will piss you off. It feels like it takes half the book for these people to get their shit together, and then BAM all for nothing. I was confused, I was hurt, and I was pissed. I stopped and took a breather, consulted with the girls in the Facebook group, who assured me that I needed to finish, and then I jumped back in. I'd like to say that right away I was happier, but that would be a lie. Meagan just sinks her claws into your heart, and rips it all the way open until there is only about 10% left of the book. What an outrage! (<--I'm only partly joking about the outrage part)

"Forgive me when I don't deserve it, love me even though I haven't earned it, trust me when you have no reason to."

This book is suspenseful, steamy but not overly sexual, and so packed full of angst your going to want to chuck your phone/kindle/book across the room and stomp off in a tantrum. It played with my emotions. I hated it, I loved it, I hated it again. It was this constant back and forth, and I'm still thinking about it this morning well after I finished it. If you like a little thrill with your romance this would be a good one to pick up, because it's not completely centered around the romance aspect, there is also an air of mystery going on around it, and it's fun to try and figure out what is real and what is fake. 

Overall, I'm giving this book 4 STARS. I love Meagan Brandy. She is one hell of a writer. She is a master at weaving a story so well that your sucked in and can't get out. Let me be real here, the ONLY reason I'm not going for 5 Stars is because I just desperately wanted a little bit more at the end. I felt like as soon as everything was coming together, the book was over, and I just wanted more. I don't think it's a bad thing that the only flaw you can find in a book is that you just wanted a little more. That's a testament to Meagan and her writing.