Some things on my mind.

Normally my blog is used for writing reviews, but lately some things have been weighing on my mind and I wanted to get some stuff off my chest. 

Ever since I was a little girl, all I’ve ever wanted to do was write. I was constantly filling journals and writing stories. To me it was just a dream that wasn’t ever going to happen. 

A couple years ago I was working at a job that I hated. I was experiencing some things at work No one should ever have to go through and I was miserable. 

I was also 7 months pregnant. The pregnancy was a difficult one, I never felt like myself, and I was constantly miserable. My water ended up breaking 2 weeks early, I had a c section, and my baby was sent to the nearest children’s hospital. He almost had a heart attack, he was in an incubator, and I was an hour and a half away trying to recover from surgery before they would let me go to him. The next month was spent at a hospital while my other 3 kids were at home with their dad, and it was some of the hardest times of my life. 

My fiancé’s grandpa, who we were incredibly close to died on a Monday, and our baby came that Thursday. I was trying to recover from major surgery, deal with the loss of a loved one, was away from my kids, and was terrified for my baby. 

After our baby boy was discharged and we were home adjusting things took a turn for the worse at work, even though I was still on maternity leave. I returned to work in January, and was told they were letting me go in March. I had no idea what we were going to do. 

I was dealing with post partum depression, the loss of a job, and I had no idea what was going to happen. It was during this time the idea for my book came to my mind. I thought I had absolutely nothing to lose, so why not start writing a book, even though I had no idea what to do. 

I spent the entire summer filling pages of notebooks and the notepad on my phone with this story. One day I started typing and didn’t look back. A job fell into my lap unexpectedly in August so writing got put on the back burner, but I still tried to do it as often as I could. 

In January I decided to start my blog. I love reading and there is nothing I love more than sharing my love of reading with everyone else. I wouldn’t dream of writing hurtful things to an author because I know what you go through to get your book out there. I know how terrifying it is, how hard it is, the emotional rollercoaster is unreal. 

When I see people say they DNF my book, didn’t like the writing style, talking about how awful it is or how rushed it is or how I’m obviously only doing this for the money (what money?) I want to respond to them and defend myself, but I know you don’t do that. I know that not everyone is going to love what you put out there, but I also 100% believe there isn’t any need to be downright hateful to someone that worked so hard on something. 

I’ve never been more proud of myself for finally taking that leap that I have literally wanted to take ever since I was a little girl. I poured my heart and soul into this book. I was going through so much and it saved me. This book wasn’t written in a rush and I didn’t write this book for anyone but myself. I can’t have people with their negative attitudes trying to crush my dreams. 

So, for those of you that don’t like me or my writing style, I plan on sticking around. Because for every one of you, there are five more people in my corner just as proud of me as I am of myself. 

If your an author out there that feels like maybe this isn’t the right career for you, keep your head up and keep writing. Someone somewhere is connecting with your story, and that’s all that really matters.